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| oki. its a friday. n its still office hr. so definitely i'm in office now. haha. full of crap. well abit retarded recently, hav being using too much brain power, tts y. being quite awhile since i last update my blog. well. not really very long but kind of feel long to me. more den a week. tts long, at least to me. anyway life being good. COMPLICATED as well. things ard me are happening so fast that i cant believe that everything is happening as it now. amanda(my senior) out of nowhere pop out n ask me to club with her, den was being introduce to her friends. got to knw andy, steve n dave that grp. den got to get damn close with andy, n now he's like practically pickin me up frm work every day. well... abit of introduction of andy. he's one hell of a rich guy. workin in the construction line, helpin his dad out, its a family biz, an eg of how big their company is, republic poly was being build by them. own 2 hotels in singapore, having one at bintan end of this mth. wears a rolex that cost more then $40k, a gold ring that cost more den my coming 3 to 4 mth bonus, a car that is damn fantastic, home at changi bungalow, lives at jurong condo. damn fu*ckin rich lo, n usually ppl who are tt rich tend to b damn spendtrift BUT he's damn thrifty. not a miser but those guys who knw how to save. earn 100% save at least 70-80 percent of it. he's that type. well... its a good thing cos he knws how to help me save. everymth i got my salary, i've to tell him wat i'm goin to use it for. n that make sure i put a sum aside for savings. haha. i'm so amaze. but i kind of like it. the best thing is he damn entertaining n he's damn irritating as well. he's one of a kind. able to make me smile n laugh out loud, next moment he can make me hate him to core but yet deep inside still kind of feel blissful. haha. the thing that i dun like abt him is that he's damn vulgar with his speech and he's more of the hokkian type, whereby i prefer those ang mo decent type. he dun suit in to that catergory. tts the ting that is stoppin me. i'm not sure if i can over look that flaw. i mean if u like the guy u wont mind abt his flaw. the thing is i am still unsure if i can get ovr teh flaw. tts the issue here. oh ya another thing he's only 1.72m high. he's below my expectation, for this, i can overlook it cos tts not the most impt thing, at least when i wear heels he dun seem to b shorter den me. tts good enough. oh ya forgot to mention, he has a dimple on the right side which is damn damn cute. haha... so now he's calling me dear. but i told him that i'm still not ready. i dun wan to jump into a relationship so fast. i wan to take awhile to udnerstand each other better 1st. tts y. hope he'll understand. anyway think will be meetin him ltr at my place goin for dinner den will be sending me to dbl o. den think he's goin home to slp. think he's being tired out by me. being spendin late nites with me outside. wats more he's now staying at jurong. example on wed nite, after work he went home to bath den come over to chinatown to pick me up, den go to bukit timah for frog porridge den to seletar reservoir n chat. after that send me home den he hav to drive all the way back to jurong. its like this every now n den. hai... feel heartach for him seeing him being so tired. but still he's willin to do it n i like it. cos he's like my laughing medicine. he juz knws how to make me laugh every now n den. haha. everyone is encouragin me to b with him. but still i've my doubts. anyway he's a damn sweet guy too. well i shall not go into it. otherwise i'll be damn naggy. anyway shall end here. left with an hr n i'll b off work, rushin home to prepare to club tonite. see ya guys. |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 5:00 PM |
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i'm seriously not feelin well tdy. started to feel so since yesterday while on my way home with J. met him at orchard after my salsa class den we went back together. actually wanted to go clubbin tonite. but... with the situation that i'm in, i dun think i'll be goin. anyway had lots of fun last wkend. was out on fri nite with XLG to KBOX, den watch mistress of spices den to devils. had fun at devils. there was a fight there and XLG was like standing beside me holding onto me in case i was being hit. kind of feel protected. but well, think everythin will juz end there. cos on sat after my cousins wedding was suppose to meet XLG, but he hav to help out his dad with somethings so i went over to momo 1st. after awhile he told me he has to go dbl o. as his gf ask him to go. but the thin is, he told me that they broke up the nite b4. hai... i tot it was the end for them. but who knws. well. so i told him that i dun mind goin dwn to dbl o. but will he mind if we both appear together n 'she' saw it. in the end, he went dwn to dbl o leaving me at momo.. haha... i was like laughin at myself for being so foolish. i'm juz another ger 'frien' to him. a normal frien who cant compete with his 'gf'. welll.... i tot i was somehow diff. but i guess i was juz wrong. so in the end they still ended up together. well! juz might as well b. i wont wan to be the bad guy. after thinkin thru, den i realise that i'm also in the same situation when i'm with J. for XLG wise, we werent even in an affair. juz really normal friends, but for J wise, we are really having an affair. n guess wat, he has a gf for 2 yrs. n that ger used to b my colleague. fortunately i duno who the hell she is. but i think she knws me when we were in the same company. well! i'm starting to feel so guilty. y is it that humans are juz so greedy. i'm not blaming them as in the guys. cos i can understand their dilemma, as i've being in this situation b4. i wan both, but yet i knw i've to let one go. i knw that i cant hav both but i juz wan it. so i'm at a lost. tts wat is happening to them now. but for my case at the end of the day i still manage to make a decision although it was a very hurting decision i still manage to make it. cos i knw i've to do it. otherwise i may lose all of it. well! i've reach a stage whereby i'm sick n tired of waiting n staying behind the screen. i hate the idea whereby i cant hug n b close to the guy that i like. tts not suppose to be the way. but well, i'm juz in this situation. i seriously duno if i shld continue to b like this. its like i've no feelings towards him. i can juz leave anytime. but i dun wan to go back to the way i live when i'm always so lonely. at least i knw that he will be there when i need someone, but still there are limits. i dun like the idea that he has to lie to his 'gf' that he's somewhere else n kind of stuff like this. i hate it. n i seriously dun like it. hai. ok i'm back to normal. always so contradictin. never ever think like a normal simple person. anyway on sat when i was at momo, i come across this particular guy, kind of cute la. he was lookin at me for quite awhile. in the end we still manage to get to knw one another. his name is william i think. haha. dun even remember. juz recall that my impression of him is actually quite cute. haha. well.. but we didnt change no. hope that we will get to bump onto one another this wkend again. for the XLG n J thing. i think i'll juz leave it as it is for the moment ba. i'm so sick n tired of being the one waiting n planning when to meet up. juz leave it as it is. worst come to worst, buy more VCD n watch it at home or go clubbin more often lo. |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 3:27 PM |
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| m i thinkin too much or wat? its like all of a sudden i feel that i'm the one who always put in effort n others juz treat me like rubbish. feel like and idiot. mayb i'm being oversensitive. but den again i dun think i'm being oversensitive. juz that things juz dun seem to be the way it is suppose to b. or rather things are juz not fair enough for me. well! mayb this is the fair part i think. i've my fun b4. n now its time to make me suffer. tts y i may start to think that everythin is startin to get damn unfair. well. i hate myself for always being the easy goin one. but den again if i'm being too particular, i'll lose even more things. but being too easy, i'm always the one losing out. i mean i dun mind bein at the losing end but still at least do me some justification. well! i juz dun see any justification as yet. tts y i'm complainin. its like everyone is juz so concerned abt themselves. never did they spare a thought for the ppl ard them. n when they start doin it, its when either they realise they are starting to lose it or when they have already lose it. thats usually the case. but no matter wat, they are still concern abt themselves only. i dun believe in ppl who are so damn kind n nice that they will only care for others n leave themself to suffer. NO! I"LL NEVER BELIEVE IN THAT! NEVER! even if i'm at gun point. i'll still chose not to believe it. NEVER!!!!!! everyone is juz self centered. its juz a matter of how self centered you are, tts all. i hate it. how i wish that we live in such a world that everything n everyone is so simplified. live a simple life, hav a simple mindset, think simply, without any motives. n most importantly, everyone is happy n satisfied with wat they hav. wont that be nice.but the thing is that its juz impossible. never will i find such a life style now. ... i'm tryin my best not to sign. haha. anyway still dealin with my A&P. tryin to do better. but its juz not as easy as i think its suppose to be. in fact its gettin more n more challenging. tts like so excitin. juz cant wait for the of the fair. think will be damn great. ok gtg. think goin to a pub n chill out. otherwise will be goin home to watch my vcd. hehe. |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 6:01 PM |
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Its 6pm, a tue evening and i'm still stuck in this 'cozy' corner of mine in the office. hehe... well... kind of brain dead. its like yesterday was workin frm 9 till 8pm. den this morning start work at 9 again. this is only the beginning. there's still more to come. haha... well.. its tiring but i kind of enjoy it. for now, i'm dealin with the A&P side which is known as Advertising and Promoting, in another words its marketing. haha... but yet its kind of different. its more of like juz a part of marketing. not the full marketing that we use to hear frm others. but anyway i'm juz in love with it. oh ya, its more of like an event organising thing, which is something that i'm interested in all alone. in the past i can only dream of it. now its more of like really doin it kind of stuff, more hands on. so its actually harder than wat i tot of. but its much more interesting. everytime i wan to do something, juz the tot that its hard to do it, i'll juz leave it n do others that i think i can do it. this time round, i knw its hard to get everything done up, a mega travel fair held in suntec, all the booths, the display, the layout, the goody bags, the license, the programs, the advertising,etc..... its like so many things to do, n so little time, but i've no choice but to do it. n den i start to realise its actually not as hard as i tot its suppose to b. in fact its quite fun n interesting. although i feel that i cant breathe anymore, i still enjoy it. haha.... anyway will look forward to the day when everything turns out ok during the fair. it will be there n then that i'll be filled with sense of relieve and satisfaction. hehe... juz cant wait for the day to come by. which will be soon. lets juz bow our heads n pray that nth goes wrong. hopefully everythin turns out not very well, but ok. cos nth is perfect, there will definitely b mistake n errors. but its how we manage to save the whole situation that makes a person grows n makes the whole situation in a even better event n learnin lesson. hehe... well... i'm juz waitin for that. n i believe after this whole event i'll grow alot. really alot. n frm there i think it will be my really very own n personal steppin stone, who knws this may be my very 1st achievement. anyway i goin to stop here. i've to go for my salsa dance lesson soon. will update more soon. |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 6:10 PM |