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finally back from hkg. spend like mad. went there with one luggage. return with one luggage, one hand carry n 4 plastic bags. tts how much i bought. not really alot la. cos 3 bags r wine n beer. the rest are my stuffs. haha... but i kind of enjoy myself. at least i did. hmmm... y would i say that. cos 1stly i feel damn bad that i think i somehow spoilt the whole trip for mic n wen. cos its like i hav block nose so i tend to snore at nite. den kind of disturb their slp. 2ndly, think cos i keep shoppin didnt really care abt them, n its like they are so nice to keep accompanying me to shop when they themselves are so shack. welll..... i knw it all. n i kind of feel bad tts y i tend to b more quiet thruout the whole trip. hai.... like an idiot rite. shld do something to make the rest feel better but instead i juz keep quiet. mayb at that time i think its the best way to solve everything ba. cos i knw it may lead to more n more arguements. so i rather keep quiet. hai... SORRY GUYS!!! i didnt mean it. i seriously didnt mean to spoilt to whole trip. i knw u guys will say its ok. but the thing is that i juz cant help but feel bad abt it. ARGH!!!! SORRY ! anyway like wat mic saids when i'm home i'l b damn excited. haha... n its true. the min XLG send me home i start to unpack my stuffs. den in the end i was super duper late for my theory test. n oh ya! i failed my test. haha... damn stupid lo. when i pass i didnt appreciate. den now hav to retake. feel so dump lo. i think this yr is really damn ..... its like watever test i take sure to fail wan. haiyo..... anyway. den like that lo.... den after that went to watch movie (Garfield 2) den go home. after that went home to pack my stuffs. den J called. hai.... den in the end i went to meet him till late. hai... feel like an idiot. its like he's attached but yet still he's stickin to me. haha.... i duno la... feel so weird. its like wat the hell is wrong with everyone? i tell myself to stop everything but part of me tells myself to let go, relax n enjoy wat i've now. haha... i mean although J is attach but he really dotes on me like hell.. haha... but still i dun like it as in i feel guilty. but another part of me wans to indulge in this kind of romance. haha... think this will only last for awhile. once i get a decent guy i'll let go everything. i dun wana let go of it now. i'm afraid to lose it. to lose everytin that i've. actually i think i'm one of a hell of a loner, n a damn brainless person. its like cos of my brainlessness, recklessness, i always tend to offend ppl. haha... tts y i offended even my best frien. haha... i feel so damn stupid. its like i keep complaining that others are brainless. actually i think the real brainless person is me, myself. haha... so stupid. mayb like wat someone told me b4, with my kind of character, i'll get alot of acquaintance, but when it comes to real friend, good friend, u cant, u'll b a loner. haha... well... i chose not to believe that person. but as time goes by i start to realise that wat that person say is starting to get true. i'm really such a person.. haha.... mayb i'm to live such a life. haha. anyway hai.... i duno wat the hell is wrong with me again la.. startin to get depressed again. think i cannot think too much. once i start to think too much i'll get depressed. haha... think its still best to be brainless ba. mayb i'm starting to get brainless le. cos its like i failed my theory test. when i manage to pass on my 1st try. but yet now i'm failing it. haha. hai.... ok... i think i'm goin to indulge myself in my current situation now. too tired to thin so much le. when things happen den talk abt it ba. for now i juz need to get mentally prepare for the tough n challenging period that i'l hav to go thru next few mths all the way till oct. den in oct think i wana go for a short break to bangkok. hmm... think this time i'll go alone ba. i dun wan to the stupid brainless person again who spoil others day. hai.... sounds abit pathetic rite. but well sometimes life is juz as such. if i'm born to hav this kind of life style, no matter how i wan to change it if the time is not rite, the person is not rite, it juz wont work. haha... so like that lo. haha.... hai.... anyway lets change topic. well... currently i'm helpin out in the A&P department, so kind of new n challenging for me. kind of interesting. wat i'm afraid is that wat happen if one day i fell in love with A&P which i think i will, i dun think i wana go back to product. haha.... so juz wait n see lo.... haha... hai.... oh ya the photos itself ah, i'll get it post up when i get the photos n bring my cam. oh ya, another thing, my parents will b out of town for the whole wk. haha... hmm... but its like didnt really get to see them lo. last nite went out only got to talk to them like for a few mins den went out le. den tonite mayb goin out again. den tml mornin they are leaving. hai... kind of miss them actually. watever it is. its like this wan la... hehe.... seriously juz cant wait. hai.... |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 3:16 PM |
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| i'm so freaking tired man... didnt slp the whole nite lo. yesterday was out to meet J, one of my ex colleague, my xiao lao gong n his gf for the movie silent hill at cineleisure. b4 that i arrange to met them at 7. in the end only J was on time. haha. den we were sitting at the railing chatting for 1 hr. after meetin up with XLG. we went to the 5th level to collect the tickets. its like XLG walk to the counter den J walk to the bar counter. i was like err... who m i suppose to follow. den i stupidly stand in the middle of the floor. haha... until they call out my name den i walk over. haha... after that in the movie theater i was very close to J cos i think XLG and his gf quarrel cos of me as i contact XLG n organise the whole movie thing with him ma instead of her when i knw her as well. like that lo. so we act like couple. but who knws in the end jimmy really treat me like his gf. den after the movie we went to makan den went to WIND to finish up the bottle of Chivas i hav there. by rite XLG's gf shld go as well. but she's too tired to go over so she went home 1st. den i met isabell there. had fun at WIND la. den all of a sudden, J told me that he has a gf. i was like huh??? oh ok lo. i mean its ok wat i'm not like with him. den he start to tell me that he had a crush on me when we were workin in the same company. but its juz that too many things happen so he didnt pursue further. haha.... i was like stunn lo... den at that time i was playin with the game machine n XLG came to join me. when i was playing with XLG, J kept lookin over. haha... den i told XLG abt it. n he said he kind of notice that too. den when everythin end. we went to hav supper. half way thru XLG hav to go off cos his gf came to pick him up le. so he left. den he started msgin me askin me to b careful n that he's really jealous. haha... Well.... if he's jealous i also cant do much ma. we are not related in any way lo. hehe... juz that he's there for me when i needed someone den we somehow crappily started the XLG n XLP thing. hehe..... ya tts how everythign started. hehe.... anyway after that when J send me home, he was tellin me abt 'us'. i was like wat 'us'? there's no us lo. haha... anyway tts how things end la. den he propose to meet me tonite again. unfortunately he lost his phone last nite. i think at the pub n i told him my no twice. if he manage to remember n call me tonite den ya i'll meet him. if not den juz let everytin end like this ba. or shld i say juz let everythin b like this. cos its like we did not even start anything how is it possible for it to end? hehe.... ok i'm goin back to my microsoft word n stone le.. i seriously cant think n cant do anything. too tired le... argh.. my eyes is shouting out loud for it to rest lo. OMG... hai.... anyway tonite may hav to go devils. hai... another long nite. hai.... |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 9:14 AM |
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hehe... I'm finally graduate... haha... went for my graduation ceremony yesterday at np. haha.... was so glad. hehe.. i mean although its juz a very simple ceremony but still the feelin is hmmm..... i duno how to explain. filled with mixed feelin. its like somewhere somehow i kind of regretted not doin well. as in keep slackin haha... cos when i see my classmates goin up to get diff kind of prizes i was like hai..... and i make this promise. if i've the chance to go for overseas studies which most pro i'll i'll definately study well.. no more regrets. haha... no more! its like i knw i'm smart enough to score well if i wan to. imagine i dun go for lecture n most of my tutorial n yet i still manage to pass all my modules. wat will happen if i were to really put in effort n study. haha... ok. so i talk to my mum le. she wans me to continue to study but the thing is i'll only continue to study if i'm goin for overseas sudies not in singpaore. haha... anyway lets share the photos that i took yesterday.... the formal photo of receiving the cert will come in ltr. but for now... lets view it together man.. hehe. 1) the setting of the convention hall 2) taken with alina. one of my good friend whom always kana shuan by me. hehe 3) cythia. not very close to her but still she remembers my name hehe... 4) rena. my yr 3 classmates cum my attachment lunch kaki. hehe... poor rena, went for knee surgury n still hav to come for the graduation 5) sze yee. my 'laogong' hehe... 6) my yr 1 n 2 classmates. hehe..... was quite surprise that i manage to take a photo with them. hehe 7) papa... hehe... surprise look. hehe.... *blur* 8) my graduation scroll. hehe...         And the photo of the Day, the one that i love most is this..... hehe... hungry ppl. haha.... muz b starving like mad.. hehe...  been very long since i took photo with my parents. i love this photo man. hehe... i think i'm startin to b more of a family person le. hehe... i juz love it man.. hehhe.... well!!!! tts all for now. for more photos wait till i'm back frm hong kong man.. i'll sure filled this blog with photos. hehe... anyway yesterday after the whole ceremony n photo taking session, i went shoppin with my mum. 1st time i'm treating my mum at hagan daz. hehe.. den she pay for my top. haha... tts like so super duper worth it. haha... den went home to slp le. hehe... hai... till now so tired. heheh.. anyway ltr will be meetin mich n wen to discuss the hong kong trip thing. juz cant wait for it. hehe... |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 10:57 AM |
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hmm... feelin so much better tdy. hehe... i think after cryin out its so much better. hehe... well.. i didnt cry bcos of me myself but in fact its due to the VCD that i bought on thu, the Green Forest show that show cast on Channel U 7pm every wed-fri. hehe... its actually damn nice lo. it makes me laugh n cry at the same time. the best part is that its able to make cry hard. haha... its being awhile since i can cry till my eyes swell. haha... well this show manage to. hehe.. so now i'm feelin better. much much better. hehe... anyway i think after crying out i feel that i'm like a newborn. haha... i mean although the reason for me to cry is not abt him. but still i feel better. at least watever that is being stall inside is being let go. i feel relieved. like how u feel when u're in need of toilet but u cant find one. at first u juz ignore the need to release it. so u jus stalled it there. den as time goes by the urgency with in starts to build up itself. den till when u cant help it any more u'll start to search for a loo. but still cant find it. den when there's no choice u need to go to the bushes u juz do. n once u're done with it. the sense of relieve is overwhelming. hehe.... i believe everyone experience that rite. well... tts how i'm feelin now. haha... RELIEVED. i think i'll go n grab more sure VCD. hehe. anyway on fri when i was abt to go crazy that nite b4 i off work i wrote this on my friendster. well i kind of like it alot. take a look b4 i go into wat i've done on the wkends. here you go...... Everyone please leave me alone... omg. i think its another PMS. haha... having mood swing. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. i wan no one except YOU!!! well.... u knw who i'm talkin abt. tts it. i'm such an idiot. such an ass....ARGH!!!!please everyone juz leave me alone. i'm sick n tired of all this. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- a very unstable person, with a damn complicated mind. leave her alone n u'll b safe. step into her world n be prepared for the worst. if wat u wan is jus her body den by all means take it. cos its juz a hollow shell. if u wan her heart. dun ever dream of it, unless u're an angel. if u wan her soul, search for it cos its wandering abt somewhere out there.if you WANT HER.... well!!! den you will hav to work damn hard. cos if you're not HIM, you will never get the complete her. wat you are getting is juz trouble n more trouble for yourself.so make up ur mind wat u wan b4 u get near her. if not juz leave her alone and never walk into her path. cos when she's cross she will juz stamp onto anyone that comes along, making sure everyone is injuried like how she's injuried. if you're the ONE, then u're in for a blessin. cos she's so willing to giv up everything for you. but once she decided that u're the one n yet in the end u hurt her, u'll regret it. SERIOUSLY REGRET IT! so if u're not the one, or not sure whether u're the one, i'll advise u NOT to take the risk. dun even dream that u mayb the lucky one. cos there's not such thing as the lucky one. only the destine one. so ppl juz F**K off!!! n leave her alone. 'Life still goes on like this, even when things does not turn out to be as expected' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- well.. thats wat i wrote. well i love it man. hehe... although its damn negative but its the truth. hehe... i juz love it man. hehe.... anyway last wk, was in a super duper bad mood, so after work on fri i went to look for mich at taka den had dinner. thanks my dear ger for accompany me even though u're so tired. hehe... thanx so much. MUACK den after that went to meet geraldine for a drink at WIND, a ktv pub. well she was super duper late lo. but nvm i manage to meet the bunch of guys that i got to knw when i 1st went to WIND n den the nite when mango got jealous also partlybcos of them. anyway got to see them there. haha. wanted to get drunk but didnt manage to. anyway its being ages since i play pool den it sucks lo. haha.. i spend like $10 b4 my skill starts to come back haha.... den who knws geraldine was drunk, one of the guys were high. i'm the one who wanted to get drunk but yet remain so damn sober. what the hell. haha... anyway after everything end that nite one of the guys were sayin that they all share the same sentiments that i'm damn proud n damn confident, in another words means 'DAO' but the thing is that i'm not lo. in fact i've damn low self esteem. anyway there're not the only ones who say that. alot of ppl told me that le. so ok le.... i knw that i look damn dao when i dun smile. well i've being tryin to smile le.. anyway that nite after chattin with them i took a cad home n guess wat i left my shawl in the cab. WTF!!!! argh.. think i've to add another thing into my shoppin list when i go to hongkong le. hehe... den sat i went to work in the afternoon after that i went home to watch my the vcd den went to boat quay n meet edmund. went toWIND to drink den go dbl o. well that nite dbl o n obar music is damn horrible lo. hai.... but was quite glad la.. met a couple of friends there. initially tot that i'm end up with only edmund there... hehe. but in the end got a couple of friends there. n wesley came to look for me as well den hav supper together. hehe.... oh ya den i got to met a guy whom i got to knw last wk. he's the bday boy. den guess wat i saw him again on sat nite at dbl o. n he's drunk again. haha.... den its like nearing to the end he keep sticking to me. i was like eeeeee... can u pls leave me alone. luckily wesley came. haha... den when we went for supper that time, we saw him again. den he join us for supper... i was like can u pls leave us alone. but haha.... i'm like still nice to him la.. cos he's drunk. n he's not such a bad guy afterall.. hehe... ya den on sun mornin i woke up buy my contact lense, den watch the vcd den to cementary to pray. den after that went home to watch my vcd again. it was when last nite when i watch it again that i manage to cry like mad... den after watchin it till the end then i went back to slp. n guess wat.frm 5 i slpt till 10. wake up hav dinner watch tv, i went back to slp at 1130 again... haha.... 1130 till this mornign... wa... i'm really that shack lo... haha. it was like super good lo... haha.... well.... tml is my graduation day. den next wk i'll be goin for my hong kong trip le.. i juz cant wait... hehe.... gona shop till i drop man. hehe.... |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 10:34 AM |
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| ARGH!!!!! i'm goin crazy man... i duno wat the hell is wrong with me. think goin into depression again. its like i'm always like that... i'm fine one moment. den now its like i feel like dying n drink till my liver burn n rot away. i wan to smoke till my lungs turn black n start to strink. haha... thats wat i wan now. i wan to die. i wan to kill myself. oh shit. i duno how come this sudden strong desire. I DUNO!!! n i cant explain it. so ppl stop askin me y.... ARGH!!!!! i wan to sing, to drink, to smoke, to play pool, TO DIE!!! haha... mayb the next timeu guys see me, i'll be at hougang mental hospital le. haha....think that will be the best. not knw anything is actually the best way out of life. haha... think thats the best n only way ba. haha.... i wan nth now. NTH except myself back. the normal me. i think i've being like controlling damn long although not very long. but still long lo. haha... den now all of a sudden when i let go i'm like one crazy woman, runnin on the streets. omg. who can come n save me.. haha. |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 5:53 PM |
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oki... juz posted up the pictures that mich wanted. so its time for some updates. hehe.... well.. past few wks hav being good although i still miss him alot. hehe... anyway i watch da vinci twice, xmen twice and i think most pro she's the man twice too. haha.. its like i'm so bored to such an extend. haha... oh ya. n i'm goin for my salsa dance on the day when i'm back in sg after my hkg trip. will be goin for my hkg trip on the 22jun. hehe... tts a thu. i was actually thinking of goin clubbin on wed nite. den rush home at 3. bath change den by then its time for me to go to the airport to check in. haha... wat do u thin mich? i think u will b thinkin i'm mad. hehe.. anyway i bought a pair of satin alike 3 quarter pants for this trip. manage to find one yesterday. its abit ex but i dun mind paying for it cos i've being lookin high n low for it after the xotic shop closes. hehe. den i think i need to get a pair of shopping shoes as well. hehe.. a low pair of heels for shoppin at hkg.hehe... anyway as i was saying, on the day i'm back, once i touch dwn i'll hav to rush to bbdc to retake my advance theory den after my advance theory i'll hav to go dwn to chinatown to take my salsa dance. haha.. will be a damn tiring day man. hai... but i think it will be damn fun. hehe. juz cant wait for all this to come man. oh ya, n next tue i'l be goin for my graduation le. finally i'm graduating. hehe.. actually i'm kind of reluctant to graudate. as this means i'm actually gettin older le. hehe... i dun really like that. hehe. but anyway his is all part of life. no matter how much i yearn to stay as a student i'll still hav to get over it n continue with my life journey. anyway i was thinking abt this, its like i love to dance and i love to club cos other den takin up dance lesson, i'll only get to dance when i club. but the thing is almost everyone associate clubbin with flirting n with player. i mean those who are aware of this terms will understand wat i'm saying. well to me i'm juz there to dance, to enjoy, to make friends. mayb my actions show that i'm flirting, but to me i'm juz being friendly. n for gods sake i'm not a player. but yet, everyone thinks that i'm a player. let me define player. Player= someone who sleeps around, who hang ard to have sex with anyone who can satisfy their needs and for the fun of it. tts wat a player is. i'm not. ok i may seem to b open and friendly enough to talk abt all this topics, but i'm not someone who will do it. Never will i do it. i mean i juz cant. its like once i do it i'll feel super duper dirty and cheap. well... my buddy is a player. initially he tot that i'm a player tts y he wanted to knw me. well, i dun mind knwing him as a frien. n till now i never regrettedthat decision. when he got to knw me after awhile he tried to bed me. but i told him that its impossible. i wont do it. n i explain my thoughts to him, n he accepts it. till now we still hang out together. its like i juz dun understand y muz everyone associate clubbin with player and friendly with flirting. i juz dun understand. cant they be more openminded. haiyo... anyway my past 2 relationships ended bcos of this 2 reason. clubbin with player and friendly with flriting.... y are they juz so narrow minded. omg! hai... anyway i think its like so hard to find a decent guy. someone who can really love you n dote you. i mean for my case i think its like so hard. even when i dun flirt or club, when ppl take a look at my face n will hav that impression that i'm a player already. even when i'm in office wear lo. can u believe it? most of my counter staffs think that i'm a player when i'm not. seriously i think i rather born with a average looks without the sex appeal. haha... seriously i hate it. who knws mayb bcos of this i may not b able to get a decent guy. cos they are afraid that i'm out to hav fun. hai..... but thanx god for giving me everything that i've now. cos if not for this i wont b able to see the ugly side of the opposite sex. the greed, the lust, the egoism, the pettinest, and the unreasonable side of them. cos i believe its always at the clubbin area whereby the darkest and ugliest side of man will be expose. n true enough i've seen all these sides of theirs. but still i like it cos to me its consider one of the few moments when u get to see the hidden truth. haha... i juz love it. the only time when i'll stop clubbin is when my bf or my husband forbids me to go. den yes i'll stop if not i'll never stop. haha... this is sth that i realise. anyway i seriously think that it will be very hard for me to find a stable guy. i mean all the relationships that i have. all those that dun last long were with guys who are near my age. those that really last were guys who are like older den me by 4 yrs and above. i was actually analyising with one of my guy friends den he says that the guys nowadays tends to be more childish, petty n more like gers. haha.. i was actually stunned by wat he said. cos not many guys will admit that. n when he admit to that i was seriously surprised. haha.... so i think i shld seriously get someone much older den i'm. hehe... otherwise i think i'll hav to remain single for this life time le. haha |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 10:44 AM |
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oki... here are the long awaiting pictures. hehe.... this pictures are taken at kbox on the 29th apr with Mich, Wen n unfortunately Mango as well. hehe....      den on below are pictures taken at Pit stop on the 5May my early bday celebration. hehe....          |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 5:57 PM |
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| haha.... i'm so happy lo... well...hmmm.... tue nite went out with alan. a ex colleague. being like a yr since i met him. haha... den we went to watch xmen. den after that we went for a drink at alley bar. haha... had fun there. we chatted for like 2 hrs there. den after that we went home le. den hor, when we are on his car. he surprised me by giving me a present lo.. i was so stunned. cos that time when he ask me out. i ask him where's my present? den he asked me wat present? our anniversary present is it? i say wat anniversary present. he says 1 yr anniversary present. haha.. i was shocked. den i told him if thats the case he own me 2 present le. cos my bday juz passed. hehe. so that nite i met him he passed me a damn beautiful n expensive diamond stone waist belt. haha... i was so surprise lo... n its like i'm so in love with it lo.. hehe... but the only fault is that its pink in colour. hai.... so sad.. but other den that its still beautiful lo... hehe.... hmmm.. den hor, my frien lionel intro me a website to go n take a look. guess wat. its a gay's blog. n initially i was quite disgust by it. but after reading most of it, i actually think its actually very sweet n nice lo. seriously all of a sudden i dun mind having a gf lo. if she's as sweet as how they are together lo. n guess wat. both of them are actually quite cute lo. they seriously belong to the cute category. but sad to say they are gays. but seriously i dun mind lo. in fact how i wish i'm like them. so lovin n sweet. haha... well... mayb thats life ba. but i serioulsy dun understnad lo. do i look like i'm attached? or do i've words print on my foredead sayin that i'm attached. its like everyone keep askin if i'm attached anot lo. or they will ask me where's my bf. WTF!!! seriously i think i muz put on news paper to inform everyone that i'm SINGLE lo.... damn shitty lo... haha... anyway goin off le.. i wana go get a pair of shoes that i like lo. haha... bye bye.... |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 5:42 PM |