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browsing through everyone's blog. realise all filled with pictures. But i'm so lazy to upload mine. ok. i goin to do it soon. cannot take it. my blog like so boring lo. hmmmm.... Find ONE DAY........ |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 9:04 PM |
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Happy New Year! New Year New Resolution! |
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Firstly, I would like to wish all my friends a Belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! May 2008 be a year full of happiness and joy! Next, some updates. Well, came back from taiwan last wk and came to realise that i'm in love with Taiwan. If possible i would like to work there and stay there. During the trip alot of things happen but i shall not mention abt it. Then, spent christmas with my friends playing mahjong at home. Then the rest of the week, went to work at 930, lunch frm 12-2pm, left work at 5. Well think i can only only do this for the week. Next week will be back to normal le. Sian!!! Met up with Kok Hong yesterday morning. Den i realise that it is ALMOST impossible for us to get back. Think i've being the one who have been living in the past. So think it is time for me to wake up and move on. So, might felt lonely at times, but think it is time for me to be real independent le. Anyway i wana get my degree and get out of singapore. Of cos, i will still wan to fulfill my goals of setting up a company but meanwhile, i wan to work overseas to gain all sorts of experience. Plus, i hate the lifestyle here in singapore. It is so boring. Wana get out!!!! |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 2:07 PM |
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Single and available for affairs |
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Yahoo!!! Finally i'm single again. Well!!! Saw this coming. So happy! Not goin to get attached for quite awhile. I'm sick and tired of being instructed by people here and there. Hate wat most is that i kind of lose my freedom and that i've to report to someone abt my actions. What the Heck! I dont wan and dont need to inform anyone about my whereabouts at all. My parents dont even really bother. What makes them bothered abt me so much! I know I know. They are concern about me. But still i dont like it. I'm so used to doin my own stuff without reporting to anyone, not even to my parents. Why is it that i've to start reporting to others? I want my freedom! Dont wan any more restrictions. So i wan to remain as a single woman however, i'm open to affairs man. Wahaha... Seriously hav no intention for having another relationship. I think if i wan a relationship, i will wan to have it with ben. Even till now, I'm still thinkin of him. But at the same time, I wan to cut myself off him. He's been playing me, makin use of me. I'm fully aware of that. But still, i juz wan to be with him. Well... contradicting huh! Wanted to change my number so he wont be able to contact me, but it's a very laichey thing to change number. Need to inform everyone. So mafan. Sigh... Oh ya! With regards to my name, change it cos alot of ppl do not know how to pronounce MITCHELL... Can you believe it, there are ppl from standard chart also duno how to pronounce my name.Then since i lost my wallet few wks back, I might as well get my name change. Hehe... I goin to taiwan soon man. Hopefully nothing will go wrong. Den i will be back for christmas soon. So fast. it will be 2008 and soon will turn 22. Faint. getting old man. MIch, cant wait for u to join the 21 age grp man... |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 6:55 PM |
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Michelle Mitchell Ng |
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Dear All, Please note that I've a official name change since 28 Nov. My name is known as MICHELLE MITCHELL NG instead of Mitchell Ng. In short will be Michelle M. Ng Just for your information! |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 2:49 PM |
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Affairs? |
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I realise all my recent entries are all about relationship... make me sound like a emotional freak. Well. I cant deny the fact that i'm. It's just part of me, i guess. Anyway just some recent updates. I'm so called attached to this guy. A very successful man with his own biz and good family background. However, i just cant seem to fall in love with him at all. There are even times when i find him sort of irritating, especially when he grumbles. He's so full of himself that he cant accept alot of things. Mayb that is one of the reason why i'm always more comfortable with average people where they tend to be more humble. Plus, i hate it especially most when he likes to order me ard. It may seems to be like he's very concern. But i just hate the fact that someone is ordering me ard. Somehow i juz love my single life. Can he just get out. Hmm.... I wish... Anyway, as usual, i will stick ard until i cant accept it anymore. Then, when i finally decide to start afresh, Ben lee came running back to me. He just called a few days back askin for a meet up and at the same time to update me that he had broke up with his gf and indirectly implies that he wants to get back with me. Will i really start to get soft hearted? Will wait for further updates. Another thing, I juz accidentally got involve with another guy. Faint! Well! He's attached for 6yrs. However, he still involve with me. This proof what i mentioned in my previous entry is so right.. Anyway, ya. He's a very nice guy. But still he's having an affair with me. Cant believe it. With so many things that hav happened, somehow i feel very lost again. I seriously hav no idea with what i want. Just hate to be attached but yet meanwhile i want to be attached. I wan the kind of feeling when everyday i can go home and be embrace by someone i love. I miss that kind of feeling. It's like my new affair guy he will always return home where his gf will be there waiting for him. That kind of feeling is indescribable . But then again, no one can be trusted anymore. Sigh..... Anyway, that will be all for now. Will update when i get the chance to again. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- my dear darlings (mich, wen, siew, hua, sally) i believe all of u met my current bf. please keep all this to yourself k? anyway will see u guys on the 14dec. Oh ya. i didnt purposely ask him to go for the outing. its just he kind of imply that he wants to go so badly so i juz ya..... so....... keep it to urself k? see u guys soon. cheers. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 7:04 PM |
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Jerks or Junks? |
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I'm wondering is there no more decent guys around anymore or is it just me that i cant trust guys anymore? All the guys that i met are really out to have fun. No one seems to be truthful anymore. NO ONE! Regardless is it a man or woman, no one is trust worthy anymore. Dont get me wrong. I'm not saying that my gang of gfs are not trustworthy, I'm just refering to the majority people out there. Let me just relate this few short examples. Example 1, there is this bar tender that i got to know. Well, he looks like Ben. Anyway, he's quite a decent chap, or i thought so. But in the end, he's just out to hump the girls with big boots. I almost ended up being one of the victim. Luckily, i managed to sober up. But still i wonder how many stupid girls fallen into his trap. Example 2, I knew this guy for nearing 3 yrs, we have been flirting forever. Once, he confessed his feelings for me. However, i was attached so i rejected him. Then he kept his distance. Recently he came back to me. During the time that we flirt with each other, i realised he's been flirting with other gers as well. On fri night, he told me that he was the one taken advantage of and he will only take the initiative to hug gers whom he like. And he hug me. Faint!!! In the end, i heard that he's attached. Again, another jerk. Example 3, I've this best xiao lao gong. We are attached to each other emotionally n physically. And we understand each other needs. We had an affair when i was single and him, attached. I'm not trying to say that he's bad. He's a fantastic gentleman. But, he just cant me out of his life. So...... I seriously dont understand what is happening to the world. Is there really no more monotony? No more fateful relationship? I just cant help it but wonder why do i keep meeting guys that can no longer be trusted? Not only guys but even gers as well. Example 1, my gf, born on the same day as me. Well. She has tonnes of affairs even when she was attached in the past. Now she's with the guy that she loved most. I wonder will she remained as fateful as she will be. Example 2, this ger i got to know at dbl o. She's attached to a guy whom i know of. But whenever, she's at dbl o without her bf, I will be able to see her with other guys kissing, flirting, dancing, etc.... Best part was when i want to dance with her, she will reject me and dance with a bunch of guys she dont know at all. Is she really that attention seeking? Well.. For me, i dont even know if i myself is trustworthy anymore. What a joke! But seriously i cant trust myself anymore. For one reason, I dont know what i want in a relationship anymore. In the past, i know what i want cos i assume it is what other guys can offer me with. But as time passed by, i started to realise that alot of things are not what it seems to be. In fact, its so much more complicated then it is suppose to be. How comforting is that! (Apologize for my sarcasm, just cant help it.) I'm startin to be afraid of this world. Starting to get disappointed. Starting to lose hope. Initially, was still thinking of getting married on the 12/12/12 but for now, i dont think this will ever happen anymore. At this very moment, there is a very big ache in my heart. Something that i cant explain. The nearest description to it is a feeling of great disappointment. Do i really have to leave with all the jerks around me or the junks around me? Hopefully, i cant just get out of it. |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 11:28 PM |
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Love??? |
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Seriously, sometimes i think i'm such a bimbo.. Dont even know if i'm considered as a bimbo. At least for a bimbo, they have the figure. I dont. Make it simple, I'm such a brainless ger. I always think that i'm so smart, so intelligent that i can play ard with guys. Now, i'm the one ended up been played ard. How the hell am i goin to get out of this whole situation that i've land myself in for the past few years? Till now i still cant forget him. I thought i can survive thru it. But in the end, he will still come back and haunt me. This has last for the last few nights. I cant slp well at all. Until i got so moody n emotional that i send him some super duper emotional sms. 'GOD DAMN IT!' will be what i will say. I'm so damn irritated. How is it that i'm havin someone who treat me so well yet i'm thinkin of someone else? Sometimes, think of it i'm being such a bitch. There are so many guys out there who wans to have a piece of me, or rather to have me. But yet i'm throwing myself to someone who dont need me at all. Not only so, but i've to sell myself for it in order to get what i want. 'FULL OF SHIT' I cant believe i'm so out of control over this matter. Where did all my persistence went to? Where did all my pride went to? Down the drain??? Possible? Or even vanish to thin air. Who will know? I myself dont even know what happen how am i goin to expect others to know about it? Anyway what i've done is done. I'm dated back to 3 yrs ago when i proposed for a deal which he refuse. Now i'm doin it once again bcos that is the only way to keep him by my side and not put any emotions to it. He may disagree with me again. But i will try all ways and means. Think i own him all these my previous life. That's why i'm stuck with him forever. Even if one day we get married and my groom is not him, his bride is not me, we will still have this thing between us. I assume so... Well that is for the future to decide. Who knows mayb one day i come across a guy whom i really love alot. When he manage to revive my heart and my love, then it will be time that i will let go of him. If not just let me held onto him dearly till den. As i'm not sure how i will be like without him. I dont know how i will feel, or how i will be able to live my usual self again. I knw what i m goin to do is ridiculous. But trust me, i believe what i do is the best way. Cos sometime last wk, i almost ended up in bed with someone that looks so like him, even the way they behave are so similar. Luckily, i manage to stop everything b4 it happens. Otherwise, i will feel no diff from a whore. I cant go on like this anymore. I seriously need to do something abt it. Otherwise this situation will happen again n again. 'God Help Me!' So in conclusion, I cant run away even if i tried, subconciously i knw who i want and what i want. There is absolutely no way for me to run. Tried running away before but ended up gettin more bumps. Think the best way is to solve it is to juz be brave and face it. 'COME WHAT MAY!' |
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MiCh3Ll M. [L]eft``To The Path Of HeR Dreams`` | 1:20 PM |